Weaveology 101: Study Guide Edition

Could this be you?

Hate recycling?

Always find yourself playing connect the dots with your edges?

Want to have long, luscious hair like her?

Have no fear! Weaveology 101 just opened up, and I will be your professor!

Among a woman's most prized possessions is her hair. The average woman spends thousands of dollars annually on hair products, including hair extensions and weaves! Crazy right?! NO. I know from experience that the importance of keeping up with your hair is very costly. I like to look at it as an investment, like a pair of shoes. You can wear one pair of shoes with several different outfits. The same concept applies to weaves!

If you haven't seen Chris Rock's Good Hair -->(peep here) , then you need to.

**WEAVE ALERT! WEAVE ALERT!**

YOU KNOW YOU GOT A BAD WEAVE  IF:

-The back part of your hair is silky smooth...but the top the part is coarse. This is not the time to compliment. Matching is key. 

-You scratch your head, your weave goes in the opposite direction. Please put your weave on lock down. 

-Gnats have created a group home where your weave is matted. 

-Your lace front is worn like a toboggan or an aerobics head band --> peep game

-If it looks like a grizzly bear has set up camp on your head. Oh wait --> look.

   

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Weave is an amazing thing. Just make sure you use it correctly. Everyone needs to try a weave at least once in their life. Find a Weaveologist near you!

Click here for weave do's and dont's or here for facts about hair weaves.

--It's PAW

I Peel Muffin Caps Back Blue

For those of you who weren't sure, Kevin Hart is made of foolishness and pure hilarity.

And I'm sure he's aware.

Peep game:

Jokes.com
Kevin Hart - Say It With Your Chest
comedians.comedycentral.com
Kevin Hart Seriously Funny Kevin Hart Stand-Up Kevin Hart Jokes

We all can relate to Kevin Hart. His stories are realistic and very common. So, how is it that he manages to twist what seems to be an ordinary situation in regular context and detail? It's because he uses the worst metaphors ever to describe his situations.

For example:

Either that or he's a really good singer:

Here are the top 10 most important facts about Kevin Hart: 

10. He's hot. 

9. He's hilarious. 

8. He has an ex-con uncle who hasn't quite adapted to today's culture since being released from prison.

7. He doesn't have phobias, just a lot of fears.

6. He has proven that dolphins can express racism (click me)

5. He has a facebook fan page (click me)

4. He once raced an ostrich. (click me)

3. He really likes eBay. (click me)

2. He's hilarious. 

1. He's hot.

If you haven't seen Hart's Seriously Funny DVD, PLEASE go get it NOW:

 I quote it everyday, and you will too. Just make sure you SAY IT WIT YA CHEST!

Click here for the Kevin Hart website.

--It's PAW

#Gay: Trending or Sexuality?

People these days are tired of doing the "same old thing" ...and ready to try new things. Much like hands bags, seasonal shoes, or going green, becoming gay seems very trendy these days. What do you think?

On my campus, a lot of the students are choosing this route, as if it were the "cool" thing to do. However, I know several people that are dealing with their sexuality wondering why they are the way they are. Wondering why people hate and discriminate against them. Yet, we have those who wake up with a sudden desire to see whats it's like to be someone of the same sex.

District Attorney Ken Buck compares being to gay to alcoholism:

Personally, I could care less of your sexual preference. We all have a value system to which we live by. However, what is it about Gay Culture that's so fascinating? After speaking with some of my gay friends, none of them stated that they would "try" being straight just because. If anything, it would be an option because their lifestyle isn't completely accepted yet...

Nevertheless, people are using college as a town to explore their "sexual preference". Whether you feel people are born with it or have a choice, the only place where choice seems to come into play is when you decide how you will acknowledge your identity.

Anyway, for those people who are really gay, and not faux gay, and you need help coming out, try this: 

You go girl! *Z snap*  

 --It's PAW

This...Right Here...Is MY...Flam.

Flam (n) (v): 

Flammed, Flamming 

-Noun

1. Situational; Used in a negative context, typically measured on a comedic scale. 

-Verb

1. The action form of the above definition. 

ex: My professor flammed the class today with a pop quiz. Especially since she hasn't taught anything for the past 2 weeks. 

---------

My friends and I have a radio show called It's All A Flam Radio Show. The show is about how our lives are a constant flam to which we naturally make light of what seems to be a very difficult situation. Listeners call in, email, call/text us their flam stories and we share them over the air... which is a flam in itself. I still don't know how we even got a show, honestly. Funny like that should not be allowed... we go home in pain every week!

Laughter is good for the soul. :-) 

As I digress, I'd like to share a story with you in hopes that you can better understand the term, and possibly add it to your vocabulary. Enjoy. 

It was a friday night, fall 2008. My best friend and I had nothing to do that night, for we were underage (Shout out to Charleston Night Life). At the time, I was dating this guy (let's call him TJ) and my bestie was dating his roommate (we'll call him Gay) *Buh Dum Tss*. Well, I get a phone call from TJ saying that he and Gay just went grocery shopping, and wanted us to come over so they could cook for us. Excited, we happily accepted his invitation, and made our way over. In mid commute, I received another phone call saying that they changed their minds, and wanted to order pizza instead. Confused, I asked, "Why?!" He replied, "Don't worry about it." I said, "The only person who wants to eat pizza is Gay." (wink, wink ;) ) TJ proceeds to instruct the payment method for the pizza, stating that we would split the cost four ways. Reluctantly, my bestie and I agree, still confused at the sudden change of plans. He also stressed the fact that we needed to be present with our portion before the pizza man/woman arrives. Brushing it off, I was in no rush to entertain something that wasn't my idea in the first place. As we pull into the neighborhood, I received several calls asking where we are because the pizza person has arrived. Confused, I tell TJ to go ahead and pay, and we can give him our money when we get there. He says, "OK." As we walk up the stairs to the apartment, my bestie and I see someone waiting outside with a box a pizza...

We walk past, and inside of the apartment, to find TJ in the shower (not taking a shower by the way) and Gay no where to be found. Feeling embarrassed and foolish, my bestie and I pay for the pizza ourselves. Essentially, TJ hid the bathroom until the pizza was paid for, revealing that he did not have enough my money pay for the whole thing. Livid, I  said some things that weren't very nice. I asked where his portion of the money was and he handed me a sock full of dimes and quarters. 

Needless to say, I was flammed. 

Listen to It's All A Flam Radio Show every Wednesday night from 8-10pm on CofCRadio.com 

--It's PAW

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

This is my favorite show. 

Why? 

After a vigorous vote amoung my collegiate peers, it was decided that The Office is pretty much the best show on the planet. Maybe even of all time. If you disagree, then The Scranton Strangler just might show up on your door step tonight. 

When you hear that famous theme song, doesn't it make you want to buy 5,000 sheets of paper? Yeah, me neither. However, sometimes I wish I could work in an office and play Office Olympics, using masking tape as the finish line. :( 

For those of you who live under a rock, and have never seen this amazingly amazing show, the mokumentary depicts the everyday life of "ordinary" office employees in Scranton, Pennsylvania. However it's far from normal. The Dunder Mifflin coworkers are often put in ridiculous and uncomfortable situations by their lighthearted, yet cockamamie boss, Michael Scott. His subordinates include a laid back and sarcastic sales rep, Jim Halpert, his cubicle mate and mortal enemy, the ineffectual, but power hungry Dwight Schrute, and Jim's partner in crime and love interest, former secretary and now sales woman, Pam Beesly ( I <3 PB&J). Among them are several other interesting characters. 

 What are the top 5  best comedy shows of all time? 

1. The Office

2. The Office

3. The Office

4. Family Guy

5. The Office

*Does the robot* 

If you aren't  yet convinced that this show rocks, I'll leave you with this to think about:

How does this make you feel? 

That's what she said. :)  


You're a fan aren't you? :) 
click to here see facebook fan page or here for the NBC fan site.




--It's PAW




 

Circle Circle Dot Dot...Do you need a STD shot?

Do you practice safe sex? We all know we're supposed to...but do you.... really? If your answer is "no" then this is liable to happen to you:




or this:




Don't let this be you. 


Here are some vital ways of practicing safe sex: 
1. Cover your stump before you hump. 

2. Don't be silly, protect your willy. 

3. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

4. When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.

5. Especially in December, wrap up your member. 

6. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

7. Never, ever deck her with an unwrapped pecker. 

8. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.


9. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. 

10. No glove, no love!!

Click here for more!



Okay, let's play a game. I'll call it VRAI OU FAUX. (That means "True or False" for you non-Frenchies out there.) I'm going to list some STD facts, and you guess if it's Vrai (true) or Faux (false)... 


Here we go!


1. All STDs can be cured. 

2. Most STDs produce clinical signs and symptoms that help diagnosis.


3. STDs like herpes simplex virus (HSV) and human papillomavirus (HPV) can be transmitted even if a condom is used correctly because the virus is smaller than the pores on the condom.

4. Treating STDs usually involves complicated drug regimens administered over several weeks.

5. Condom use prevents all STDs. 

Click here for more facts!

Ans: 1.faux 2.faux 3. vrai 4.faux 5.faux


   
So, how did you do? At the end of the day, no one wants to be stuck with a STD. So...wrap it up. Get tested. As a matter of fact, maybe you should wait until you're married... 



--It's P.A.W

Passion For Kardashians Fashions

I've always been a big fan of The Kardashians (No, not because of Kim's sex tape! Ew guys.) I'm talking about their style! Always so chic, yet comfortable. Lately, I've found myself modeling my own style of dress after these "Mall Girls". For example, blazers were definitely hot last fall, and have since been one of the top fashion trends this year. Kris and Kim are known for rocking this simple, yet sophisticated jacket all the time! 


and I love it! 


I like the way Kourtney dresses too. She's a little more Bohemian though. Especially since she's had little Mason! 



The monstrous Khloe, to me, has the best style of them all! She wears clothes that fit her curvaceous body so well, and her style is so ordinarily dapper! 




And  you want to know what the best part is? I've seen each of these outfits in everyday, affordable stores! You don't have to spend Kardashian money to dress like one. Although, I wouldn't mind if they expanded the DASH enterprise to King Street... 


The girls' recent fashion line was mentioned on the Wendy Williams show some months ago. However, not everyone was feeling it. Check it out: 

 


Hm...what do you think? 

Either way, these Armenian hotties are doing big things (no pun intended), and most definitely have my vote for best fashion trends of the year! Whoop! Whoop!


--It's P.A.W

Welcome to Facebook: How would you like to waste your time today?

Social Networking is a universal guilty pleasure. If you disagree, then you're a flam. Between Facebook and Twitter (and I refuse to even mention My-----), who has time to do anything else anymore?? Study? Clean? EAT? When you're bored, you get on Facebook. Then you're bored on Facebook, so you get off; but, then you get bored again and get back on Facebook. In between times, you're tweeting about foolishness and baloney. We're all guilty! However, at what length are we willing to waste time and productivity to this beloved epidemic? At what cost are we willing to look at someone's twit pic or a new status? Sleep? Grades? Career opportunity? It's a little extreme,  I know. However, the time spent on Social Networks these days are pretty ridiculous.

*Note: I'm only trying to bring awareness people. I have a Facebook and a Twitter account myself, and I love them both, so I'm not judging!! As I digress...

Maybe if these social networks were designed to not be so distracting, then maybe it wouldn't be so "bad" ...don't you think? 

I found this nonsense, and it gave me a chuckle. Can you relate? 

You know you're addicted to Facebook If:


You check your facebook account more than one time every hour


You visit sites that list reasons about being addicted to facebook. (Touche.)


Your profile has so many applications that it takes several minutes to load


Your long distance boyfriend broke up with you by posting a comment on your facebook page.


Your dreams involve people writing messages on your wall


Your relationship status is only official if its been updated on facebook


You tag photos immediately after taking them with your camera phone


You have several facebook friends that you've never actually met in person


Before you accept a job you have to find out about their Facebook policies!


People don’t invite you out without facebooking you about it first.


You tell more (....force) people to join facebook.


The word "poke" is no longer considered something physical to you


You like to receive meaningless gift icons and you like sending meaningless gift icons in return


You've already checked your Facebook account three times before finishing this list!


You join a new facebook group on a daily basis
 

Tomfoolery: 

Facebook is almost like crack. And you're already addicted.
Seek help while you can...

Until then,
Hit me up on Facebook or Twitter!!

--It's P.A.W